Dean Pelton: Greendale needs a win. The best compliment our sports program gets is that our basketball team is really gay

Debate 109 - 1x09

Chang: Between you and me, I don’t Chang a lot of chicks.

Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy - 2x18

Pierce: What’s the matter? Mama Chang didn’t breast feed?

Senor Chang: She read in a book that it wouldn’t make a difference.

Romantic Expressionism - 1x15

Duncan: Yes, you heard me right. I have stopped drinking. Mainly due to the fact that I could no longer get an erection. Now that I’m on the wagon, you can expect both this class and my penis to be more focused and rewarding.

Asian Population Studies - 2x12

Chang: I never told you this, but Changs are usually born with tails. You… sort of dodged a bullet there.

Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts - 2x22

Senor Chang: I will find a loophole… then I’ll kill you.

Pascal’s Triangle Revisited - 1x24

Chang: I know these vents like the back of my Chang.

Paradigms of Human Memory - 2x21

Chang: Thank you, sir. You won’t regret this unless I rise up against you.

Contemporary Impressionists - 3x12

Dean Pelton: I have always dreamt of playing charades with you, Jeffrey. Just not like this. And not on dry land.

Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design - 2x09

Jeff: We’ve parted ways with out closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend. And he’s not coming back.

Pierce: I’m back!

Biology 101 - 3x01